I am honestly feeling screwed in my cca , dragonboat..

I have never felt so stress , tired and frustrated before..Everyone in the team is working so hard and here i am , not attending training over a stupid reason .. i overslept .. lol

But either way its kinda frustrating being in a CCA that requires so much commitment and effort.. i can handle 2-3 trainings per week but when it comes to holidays.. its like 5-6 times a week? like whooaaa man...

And now we have this up coming race where people are selected..now i know i wont get in FOR SURE cus i am practically the weakest and the slowest in the team .. I don't have stamina and strength .. lol which is prettttty obvious if u notice my size :P .. but yet i feel bad when i don't attend training and at the same time.. i FEAR going training.. especially land training .. lets just say i have my handful of puking sessions :P

ARGH none of this would have happen if i was good enough to join Tennis.. Darn it .. what makes matters worst is , even if i do succeed in joining tennis next year , i will find it like uber hard to leave Dragonboat... even though its a fearful sport to me and that i aint an impt member anyway...

ARRRRRRR lol ... ok stress time over :D now to the happy.. its holidays people :D lets all go out :D going out with sis later for karaoke ... dunno whyye she suddenly want but.. o well. .. why not :X but.. i gotta question .. when doing something embarassing , in a sense , do u find it more embarassing showing your friends or your family.. for me its family...

I dunno whyye but my idea is this.. if i show my family.. they will be with me for life well.. and i will like constantly feel weird around them :P

as for friends. .. even if they stay with me for life.. i wont see them EVERYDAY..so like.. yeah .. haha...

i am so lame and weird but hey...3 post in a row :D comeon :D i am sooo awesome :P lol...no..i'm not... Emo.. :X

XD jk ok i shall go ... should i do vlogging? :X