I'm not one to put the entire blame on someone unless I really REALLY feel that that's the case or if its not a situation or problem that involves me and only requires me to be a judge.

Having said that, it really hurts to feel like all the fault is being thrown at me. Even if the person does not feel this way in the slightest, the conversation hardly shows it. I know that I will constantly mention my faults before I explain yours only because I don't want you to feel the way I feel now.

At times like this, all I can say is, I have broad shoulders.

Vibration, wake up, hmm a Facebook message...Gahh I can reply it tomorrow, I hope she won't mind.

Vibration, guess not.

Yes, I am bad. Have we changed? Yes we have. It's been like what? 7 Years? Maybe 8... But 5 years ago, I made the mistake of giving you a third option because, knowing you, even though you most probably felt the same way, you would choose that third option. I should have left it as a YES or NO answer.

I reminded again the next year but things were beginning to become more difficult and frustrating. Eventually, I decided, I won't continue this any more, just move on, its better this way. Wrong. While trying to move on, I still have to face issues I would when I didn't try to move on. Naturally my answers were different. Why? Because the status is different now. 

There are so many jokes, memes and discussions about the "Friendzone". Well, I'm in the "Higher-level Friend" zone where I feel like I am in the position of knowing and understanding a person more than just a friend level, and have to handle them and there should be a meme for this.

Before, I would give my all to better understand you, help you and talk to you, even if I have pry through so many layers of things just to get to where I want to be. But now, I honestly am tired of it. I am scared of how a conversation between us will turn out for it always some how ends on a bad note. 

Just see me as a friend from way before you knew that I liked you. Back then, when there wasn't that knowledge, it was easy and enjoyable. Those extra things; wanting to send you home, treating you, calling you to talk about random things, I CAN still do all of that! But, I won't insist or force it on you like before. That's why I said I was adapting. You don't want my money or a birthday movie ticket treat? So be it. I won't force you at all. Don't want me to walk you home despite it being late and dangerous? Fine. I will insist but if you turn it down again, I'm off.

Unlike before, I am willing to be more straightforward and won't hold back like before. I am sure I have told you, that I have a neutral side to myself and with that being said, I won't hold back from speaking my mind anymore and honestly, you should too. 

Just see me as a friend you can talk to about things, not someone who used to like you. If you have problems or random conversations, go ahead, message,call, talk, ask, anything. But if you give me subtle hints or play guessing games, I won't roll with it. Sure I can sense it, but no matter how "good" I am at reading into things, I can't guess something that is totally not obvious and I really don't like having to persist and risk making you annoyed and/or angry. Tell me if you wan to is all I can say now.

I don't know how the other girls talk to you or whether you even do this to them but on my side, we are now friends. Its been 7 years and call me an asshole but I really am trying to just move on. 

I still enjoy having NICE and SIMPLE conversation with you. I still see you as a great friend and still treasure you. You can say that my actions shows otherwise but honestly, I don't know anymore. I've been in that so called higher-level friend zone for so long to understand or remember how I talked to you back when we were simply friends. I guess all I can say is, I'm not putting in the same effort as I did when I was chasing you.

All I can say is, Yes we have changed. I am reverting back to how it should be. I ain't holding any grudges or new found dislikes for you or anything. I am simply saying, we are just friends, well.. unless this whole post makes you hate me then.. I can't stop you from that because how i'm acting now, and by acting I mean doing or like... carrying out my actions and not pretending, is how I feel it should be, non biased towards one person, no extra care or attention, just neutralness and fairness in showing the same care too all of the friends whom I care about equally. Just want us to talk normally and not have any form of difficulty in talking about random things. I am not expecting special things from you nor should you expect any special things from me.

Did I regret liking you? No. Would I still like you if I could go back? Yes I would.