My dog had an issue with regards to a durian seed being stuck in her throat.. blah and blah.. she had to go thru with an operation in the end that cost 2k+ and my sis and I are bearing all the cost..now.. thru this event i've came to realise so much ...

How weak my elder sister really is...

Despite her strong fronts.. she is unable to manage stress well and panic whenever a hard decisions comes about...

How selfish my mom is...

I love how they go.. "let nikki die" and "dun waste the money" .. but for some reason.. the timing of everything makes it seem like my dad is looking at things from a viewpoint regarding how we, his children feel... unlike my mom who focuses on her own preferences and choice..

How evil i really am...

This is gonna be a long one cus.. its me ...Throughout the thing.. my mom and dad raged at my sister.. I wasnt there with her at the vet / hospital cus i in school.. anyway.. I know my sister is unable to go "fierce" on my parents like how she does with her siblings ... especially at this time.. and like.. i dunno why but throughout the whole period.. i kept thinking of what to say if a certain situation arises.. like if my dad calls or my mom.. and like.. i dunno why.. but i love.. yes.. LOVE imagining myself choking my mom .. not my dad cus.. he is stronger.. but.. hey.. i'm faster.. ANYWAY back on track.. its like.. if they told me to shut up while i'm talking...for some reason i feel happy and at the same time..insanely evil envisioning myself grab her throat and pinning her against her wall.. explaining to everyone how no one in this family could do shit...

Evil side apart.. my sister had a major breakdown.. talking abt daddy threatening to kill nikki even if she is cured.. and like..which is impt? .. when he thinks or nikki? like.. srsly... i felt annoyed that i wasnt there with her to scold him...he kill.. i report police.. easy as that.. does he really think he can win in a threat fight here? no way ... take my com? take my internet.. srsly...dont waste ur time .. u wont win..

Honestly speaking.. i was HOPING they called me...i was sooo prepared and ready to tell them off...shoving this major phrase in their face " if i'm nikki.. wad will u do" ..

Bleh.. so disgusted... so much incompetence everywhere that it makes me sick.. i really dont wanna seem like some awesome freak that knows everything ..but de heck..can i see something competent for once?

Of course.. the whole durain thing is my fault anyway.. who am i to talk abt competence when i gave her the durain.. sis ask me feed and look .. i forgot she gobble everything in like a few sec... sure enuf.. i put down.. she swallow in 2 sec flat... i shud hold .. i shud have tore piece by piece for her...sometimes i also dunno why i can be so stupid.. its like.. the most far end stuff that many dun care abt are things I focus on based on competence and what not...then this simple common sense thing i can forget.. i dunno how my brain works.. so fcked up sometimes yet so not fcked up..

Bleh.. anyway.. i really dun wanna bring up this situation any time in my life..i'm gonna post it here and dun wanna hear it again...no message pl0x :X i dun wanna think abt the 2k but hard not to...

Hmm.. hoping to find a modeling job if i can..but..sigh..not tall enuf and all that plus.. not very adventurous and photogenic.. BLEH...or shud i go for like.. dancer job..YUCKS nvm...i'm gonna quit tennis.. thats all i know