A pointless selfish post like every other..Just random phrases that sum up shit

Why are u so useless.. why cant u take the time to sense shit happening for others and assist them thru that gut feeling.. is it so hard to feel the change in atmosphere? is it so difficult to not see the obvious hints i've made.. no wait.. u did ask..but after just 1 turn down by me .. u stopped.. why must u give up so fast.. freaking useless..i wasted so much time and effort cracking my head open for vocabulary words to work ard retarded boundaries so as to help and there u are..giving up over 1 simple turn down..really?

We're all the same.. selfish.. avoiding problems with the best of our abilities even if it means leaving leaving the other slapped with the aftermath of your avoidance..its k.. i wont feel anything since i will be busy soon or since i wont be seeing u soon so i shall just go BANG and run.. save feeling shit until i see u next time...sorry hor.. i dun wan to feel ur shit while u have holiday..we're really all the same..selfish..

Confidence..why u no here? I know got limit but why i dun see it? irritated.. broken recorders aint cool ya know.. why the reasoning afterall? Its not for show right? From C to A and H to F the letters are really getting stronger here..I dun want to feel superior towards any1 .. i'm not.. i'm a fcking normal human shit like every1 else that is selfish like every1 else.. that is irritating like every1 else.. that is proud like every1 else.. but the fact that i go out of my way to overcome that to handle shit from humans like me.. makes me feel superior.. why u make me feel like a better being? Why u wan me feel like i'm a being far beyond that of any matter u'd ever be..I'm not

Don't make me waste my time on your worthlessness

Going cruise tomorrow..not really excited but o well..

Anyway am loving this song..i dun think i was bullied like.. FULL ON BULLIED in my life before.. sure i had the whole "gay" "sissy" shiet but i'm over that.. i cant even remember how i felt during those days.. was i sad? Was i angry? Was i suicidal? I dun remember..

I guess i've more important things to handle and look into that those things just seem so trivial to me now.. it just goes to show that wad u think was a huge problem is indeed nth but a miserable pebble in ur shoe in reality..

But of course.. i will admit it did affect me and in a way change my attitude towards things..thinking abt it the immaturity of the guys who called me that made me dislike hanging out with males for a really really long time which led to communicating with girls only leading to blah and blah .. kinda awesome eh? My favorite attribute about myself is obtained thru those assholes.

Yeah i guess thats all :D just felt like posting...

Was watching an anime called Black Rock Shooter and i noticed something..

Ultimately, the best number of frens to have is just one..

Odd numbers are simply the worst..cause honestly, not every1 has the ability to handle groups..unknowingly and eventually without a doubt, one person will get left out..and sure we cant really blame the other 2 or 4 depending on how many .. cause its natural to have certain topics that he or she can talk to with just that other single person..i may be wrong in making these statements but its just my personally opinion and observation..

We'll tend to prefer a certain member of the group to others depending on a particular aspect..and if we have various groups of frens.. this also applies to that..but for now lets stick to just one group of 3 frens..

Haha its kinda obvious why i'm typing this post actually :P In the early stages..it was just two...easy and fun..just random talks and games..it was fun back then..really it was :D and then it turned into three.. things were still fun.. we just knew each other thru the introduction of that in-between nth much.. same old same old .. we were loved equally the same but prefered only slightly over the other depending on certain attributes..the three now didnt consist of an inbetween.. just 3.. then there was 2 and 2 ..a fight.. and the fighters shared that fren who was neutral.. and then 3 again with the same strength as before which was good.. then there was 2 and 2 again.. this time.. i was a fighter..i shared the neutral fren.. and finally.. now.. its 3 again.. but this time not with the same strength.. and i realise.. a strong preference has been made..we were not equal anymore..if there was a grade.. i was just a grade 2 while the other was grade 1..

It might be jealousy or watever but soon i realise that it was not the case.. rather it was fear.. being "grade 2" .. i was at the edge of a danger zone and at any moment cast into its depths..why i was downgraded? i didnt know.. did i change? Did you change..i really didnt know..i tried to change that.. i tried to include myself forcefully but maintain secrecy as to not seem too desperate..but it was no use..the difference in liking was too obvious but without a doubt.. they were unaware.. i didnt blame them.. it was to be expected.. if i had to judge..i'd know who are more superior compared to others considering attributes and towards which person and for this matter.. i was the inferior being.. i could not come close to that of the grade 1.. not because of him being an overall better person but rather the in-between's preference being more towards the attributes of him..

But it was still ok..i was still holding onto that lifeline or watever that prevented me from falling into that danger zone..still on the edge .. safe :D but of course.. i wouldent be posting this if i didnt fall now will i.. so yes .. i fell in today but i still cant tell them all this...to most.. the reasoning to why i fell in is a childish one.. which i agree is true.. but the reason to why this reason came about.. proved this preference between frens..

Just because you consider someone NOT a hi-bye fren
Doesn't mean you don't treat them like one~

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I love animes where the frens are so caring for one another in real life.. helping them do chores and laughing while its done...helping them fight off foes all that shit... why cant it happen here .. it would be awesome really and the thing that would be MOST MOST awesome.. is when they cry with each other..even as i guy.. i like this aspect.. i really do..but its k.. i'm not gonna expect much..

Have been in an anime craze lately..non-stop anime..didnt really do anything productive with my holiday like the rest of my frens..lazy to plan.. lazy to go out..turning into a nerd soon hahas

O well..just a few more days before school starts again..thursday got meeting in school.. i guess the positioning will be shown again..kinda excited for it :D hope that my position goes up but even if never.. nvm.. i've already achieved by desired GPA.. now i just gotta maintain it properly ..

Enuf about gpa.. sucha disgusting topic shall just end here and post a song that i've been loving :D



Love her then and now :D

I've decided to stop~

Aiyo lately cannot sleep..Always end up sleeping at like 4am or later and no i dun get on my bed at like 4am.. i get on at like.. 1am lol..

Dunno so weird..

Anyway..yesterday was watching anime till like 5 am then suddenly blackout and thru that.. it made me realise just how much i fear the dark.. yes i'm 18 but yet i fear darkness or rather.. wad my mind can conjure up and all that .. so appearently lights went out and i was like.. sitting on my chair and immediatly i jumped onto my bed and hid under my sheets.. and thing is i do know how to like do the fusebox stuff and on it.. just 1 switch after all but it was outside my room and even if it was in my room i doubt i would dare to move..haha i dunno why but i just stayed there.. cowering under my sheets and hoping some1 would notice and save me from my "misery" .. thankfully my maid woke up like 5mins later cus its like her.. waking up time but it made me wonder 2 things

1.. if like my maid didnt wake up..what would i do.. i had to turn in on cus the fridge and all that nid electricity and i guess.. i wont...i'm really that scared of the dark.. my mind always plays tricks on me and give me retarded images and thoughts.. oh yeah and a thing that almost made me scream was when my air-con and my room's the air freshener spray thing crack + spray at the same time..dunno how say .. but anyway it made a huge sound and it scared the shit out of me and i literally held my breath for like damn damn long lol..

anyway moving on.. 2.. i was lucky that i pulled down my bed before hand so i can rush to it.. but.. if i didnt.. wad would i do.. i realise that.. i would actually panic and maybe even scream..its really sissy and gay thinking abt this but haha i really am scared of being in the dark.. oh yeah another random thing.. every time my room is in darkness.. i have to be like.. full covered under my blanket.. i cant have any skin exposed .. it just freaks me out.. like.. yeah i dun wanna type it out cus being the dude that i am.. i fear that my fears will be read and all that shit.. MOVING ON!

Yeah i really am paranoid.. i dun dare to type so much of wad i wanna type cus of certain stuff but its funny thinking abt this cus..i am someone who does like insane amount of thinking to like manage random problems like car banging and like jumping off a building..whether it works i dunno but at least my mind is like.. prepared with ideas to overcome it at least.. anyway.. having think of these things.. i fear sucha "small" thing.. its big to me but.. "small" nonetheless.. haha.. ARGH NVM shall go bathe so late le..

Heyyy :D

I'm kinda bored right now.. so just gonna randomly crap some stuff here..These past few days i've just been rotting at home watching anime over anime .. nth to do hahas.. nth to rant abt either hahas.. ehh its not that i like to rant abt stuff.. its just that..there are so many rantable things out there XD

tbh sometimes i wonder if i shud rant so much.. dun really know who reads my blog anyway..sure .. thinking before i type helps in preventing unnecessary problems but i dun really know how ppl's mind works now do i? If they think beyond wad i've thought of.. well.. then i'm doomed if they can catch my hidden meanings now wont i :D

Ahaha reading this post again i must be really bored.. have no idea where i'm trying to lead this post to nor the reason to why i started posting this.. just waiting for my video to load and look like its done WEEEEEEEEEE.. shall go watch it now tralalalal

I have reasons for my actions yo~ U dont see me questioning you for every single detail now do you