Already in class for 1hr and 25mins and I’ve literally not made a move at all. Absolutely have no single clue of how to actually do any of this programming crap that everyone seems to be easily handling. I guess it’s really clear that this route is just not for me.

Internships are on their way an honestly, I’m not prepared for him. I mean, I am prepared to do the work but honestly, there is no way I can actually complete any of the task they were to assign me. If they were to give me a programming role, hands down I won’t be able to give them a working code that does what it’s supposed to do. Give me a design role and all they can expect from me is shitty drawings and shittier designs. Waste of time.

Yesterday, teacher was like talking about how designers earn more money in the beginning and programmers in the end. And you know things are sad and bleak when I ask, “What about people who can’t program or design.”

Normally, I’m just trying to be humble when I say that I can’t do something but honestly, I really can’t handle both roles. Currently, I am suppose to create a whack a mole game using cats and from the start, I know things are going to be shit. For starters, I could not even design my backgrounds, all my background designs were done by my group mate FOR me. It ain’t a group work FYI. And now, its programming time and the more I think about it, the more I diverge and think about the time I am wasting and gonna waste eventually.

And yeah, I’m writing this in class when I’m supposed to be programming my assignment which is 85% btw. It just shows how much I’ve given up on this. Shall just go to the gym everyday, look better and be a pole dancer/stripper and earn money from there hahaha. After all that’s all I’m good for, shaking my arse.

But in all honestly, I really don’t know what I’m gonna do with my life. Go to another country and do something that requires little or no brain? Hmm.. that would explain why I wanted to be a model. Just posing yo…Just posing…… I know there’s more to it but.. you get my drift right?

K. I’m done I guess. Nothing else to type. It’s time to just stone here and just wait for class  to end, go home and…….yeah I don’t know, probably do my other assignments and hope I don’t fail this with the amount of work I can actually do.

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"lol"

This is one of the best words every made but at the same time it is also the most irritable. I'll make it clear now, this word is NOT an excuse to say something fucked up to someone else and say lol to like chill shit down.. doesnt work that way. Maybe its just me, i didnt get the memo or something but sorry hun, if you're gonna say YOU ARE FUCKING STUPID to my face and say lol at the back i will still be insulted.. its like saying.. can i slap you lol? The slap is still gonna hurt.. oh and i wanna slap you :D

The shit is wrong with the brain of people? Of course i question things that are not up my alley. If you ask me about make-up and skincare, do you want me to go, WTF ITS A TONER OMG YOU DUMB FUCK.... oh wait.. forgot add in.. lol :D ... really man ........ 

Its like.. asking me to sing against a american idol winner and laughing at me... fuck you .. how bout going against me at dance dance revolution? Its not your thing and i'd win.. duh.. gosh i just want to slap people sometimes.. spoil my mood for no reason..

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Sometimes... you just gotta suck it up.. take a deep breath and chill...

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Its good that I can say things i wanna say without people knowing what i mean..but .. its also a shitty thing sometimes. Why