Hmm gotta teach my sis later so shall post instead of starting a game that can last for an hr..

Went to kbox today with Zazz, Veron and baoshi.. no letong cus.. she sick :( get well soon pl0x :D

Anyway yeah i realise that i cant sing without the audio on.. u know that can turn the singer's voice on and off right? I need it on.. its kinda a stupid reason but i guess i'm stupid anyway but the moment i hear my voice come out from those speakers.. i get disgusted.. thats not how my voice sounds in my head and its annoying to me.. even when i've accepted it at home, the moment it comes out it just throws me off..and thats for singing normally.. wad abt those high parts.. those low parts where it requires more effort.. its hard and even though i can reach them.. i cant bear to do it..so frustrating..



sang this song just now.. probably the first time i ever sang properly.. audio was on.. i felt safe..so comfortable singing this and guess wad.. this is like the 3rd time i heard it only haha..Could feel I dragged long enuf and all that stuff.. but haha i forgot to record myself .. i wanted to but o well..there were so many songs that i wanted to record but its kinda embarassing to on my phone and record infront of my frens but haha i dun mind telling them here :D .. I only recorded one..Colors of the wind.. They wanted to change the song.. part of me hoped for them to cus.. well i'm not confident of this.. but another part didnt want them to cus i didnt record anything and the kbox time was ending so yeah.. recorded it.. not gonna hear it tho.. at least not now..

I just wanna know wad ppl hear from me..like without any audio devices to aid that.. i pull out my ear and give my fren =.=

Haha the first hour of the kbox thing was fun .. but after that.. it turned into a freaking battle between myself..i realise that my so called two tone crap doesnt exist there.. for some reason i could only do my lowish one .. hmm.. where me high one go? Haiya..nvm i shall record another time and even if its totally assholeish and sound like i'm fishing for compliments.. i'm going to ask my frens to honestly listen and tell me how it is.. cus unless my WHOLE family leaves the house.. i cant sing out loud haha.. so.. Kbox.. i nid u :D

I dun wanna rap.. i wanna sing

I didnt see the full vid but appearently .. just caught that tiny portion of it.. and i guess i was soft or smth.. maybe i missed the part where i sang loud i dunno i dun care.. i dun wanna look at it at all.. i know i've imprv and thats all that matters to me..

And i realise.. its not that i dun wanna do covers or anything .. its just that i never have the opportunity to do so.. i have..younger sis elder sis dad mom maid.. so many ppl.. and I am NEVER left alone at home..Sunday is like the MOST MOST MOST awesome time cus its family day.. but even i have to folo =.=.. plus my maid doesnt like to leave the house argh..

I'm gonna be selfish and say.. why cant every1 leave the fcking house .. just like get out for 1 or 2 hours so i can do this 1 thing that i've been wanting to do for so long..even if part of me dun wanna know shit..i'll eventually look at comments anyway and yeah.. i'll finally know if i suck or not .. cus face it.. i cant bring myself to believe my frens.. as harsh as that sounds.. we all know that there's this element of "lets try not to hurt his feelings too much" there.. so yeah..and yes.. there are those who are super blunt.. but for some reason i cant bring myself to believe them too..i nid strangers.. random ppl i dunno AT ALL .. so yeah..waiting for the day every1 gets out of the house..

Argh..that teachers day performance has came back to haunt me.. Suddenly out of nowhere.. the vid freakin pop-ed up and i really cant bear to see myself perform..gosh..

Just like my results.. i cant bear to like.. face the music.. no pun intended nvm...shall remove tag.. remove from profile.. i dun wanna see it..i've improved i'm sure of it.. but do i still suck? i dunno lalala dun wanna know..

:D

Hmm i feel like remaking my blog.. not as in changing everything like skin and all that.. but rather..hmm..

heres the thing.. my email address used to be sue_myself_19 bla bla ..but because of some shitty issue..that account cant be used anymore and now i go by the email irweasel bla bla..however my blogger still goes by sue_bla.. so yeah shud i? haha but my 300+ post will be lost :( aww...

Dunno see how :D I'll still stick to the same URL even though i totally hate it.. so cheessy and gross but o well it was easy to rmb and i hate telling ppl to change link and all that.. wait.. do we even have links? haha i dunno :X maybe i will change and tell certain ppl :D after all i love the name PeePeePaChuChu.. maybe i'll change it to PeePeePaChuChu-Says-Hi :D lol ok watever i shall go bye :D

I wanted to post initially.. but i sidetracked and procrastinated and now its like 2:41.. super late.. shall post this and go slp :D



Dunno why but the part, where the doctor girl looking for a seat, felt very .. i dunno.. haha like feel emotional just something random :P

Oh and my fren and I were having a msn like.. uhh..gossip thing and we're talking abt some ppl's character.. how we judge them based on certain things.. he called me kind and nice haha..as of now i'm in a happy chirpy and slightly sleepy mood so i cant really type like.. in THAT way.. cus 1 thing bout me is that my CURRENT mood affects how i post and THAT kind of post is for when i'm really in THAT mood.. but anyway..i'd prefer if he sees me with his heart/brain and not his eyes..cus honestly.. i dun think i'm that nice of a person..humble or not ? i dunno i just dun think so

Either way i gotta go bathe and slp..

Hmm its late.. i shall got sleep..why did i even log in to type something...

I dunno i felt that i shud stick to the practice of posting everyday.. but wad to post i dunno.. going to meet jen bren and shihui tmr to slack ard.. ages since i met them.. next week got.. HOPEFULLY.. 2 days of kbox.. one with zazz veron lt bs .. another with hweechieh they all.. meow~...

Doubt i'd sing tho.. i love to sing.. but till now .. each time i hear my voice either thru the speaker or thru the recorder.. i cant bear to continue.. its so bad.. so horrible.. even till now i need to know if its ok or not..not strong enuf..i'm so affected by wad ppl say.. even tho i tell my frens and i KNOW that i shuden care.. i cant bring myself to not care.. thats why only yj hears me sing before.. he constantly .. at least last time la.. now nv le :P.. tells me that its ok and that it wasnt bad.. i'm so weird.. reading this it makes me feel like i'm an ass that demands for attention.. that i want ppl to complement me.. but no.. i really dun know.. i feel that i m OK.. but.. i cant accept it.. sometimes i wish that yujing told me that i sucked.. so that i can just stop singing..cus he is just one person.. i've heard ppl say that i suck.. but why does he contradict wad they say.. so confusing..

who toebelieve? I DUNNO RWAR

o well.. shall go sleep..

Two random things i wanna talk about..

First is my phone..Ok for those who know me.. i'm sure u all know i dislike my phone for a long time..u know..touch screen..BLEH.. really hate it..if my old phone didnt spoil and didnt cost a bomb to fix, i would totally keep it...why? well, for one.. a non-touch-screen phone allows for the following awesome stuff

ACTUAL BUTTONS

This is like the mega awesome lalalalalal nice nice factor abt it... it allows one to feel their way round the phone.. locate buttons in the middle of the night..find these darn buttons early in the morning when u just wake up and cant open ur eyes fully.. type message secretly and most importantly.. TYPE IT FAST..i know some ppl can type message on touch screen fast too but face it.. buttons > touch

And i realise that this really affects how i handle messages..i'll be upfront abt it.. but i'm a gamer and as well all know we gamers message at two specific times.. rest points ( aka when our char dies and we wait for respawns or when got loading time) or when the game ends.. and thing is.. i'd prefer to message back the moment i see it because being the idiot me.. i always end up forgetting that i received a message and end up seeing it only when i go to sleep which is like the only time i look at my phone when no vibration is felt..so yeah..its frustrating to both me and the other person who is waiting for my reply.. and of course i feel guilty.. but each time this happens I just feel like smashing my phone and pray for my holy old phone to come back to life and serve me again..

BLEH.. dun like..

Another random thing is.. well.. mask..

Initially i felt abit *ahem* thinking abt this topic .. but now.. i'm.. ok i guess .. (yucks i hate how my mood affects the way i post...like i feel annoyed at something and REALLY wanna post abt it hor.. the moment i happy.. i wont post )

Anyway.. its like.. what is a mask..and do i have one? I honestly dont know..is mask really something that is there .. like u can tell that some1 is sad but the way he TRIES to act is that of not sad? Is that false front the mask? Cus to me.. a mask is something that conceals the face entirely.. but when the person is sad.. we can still tell that he is sad cause.. well.. as much as he tries.. his face will let off that hint of sadness.. am i being retarded? i dunno just randomness.. anyway.. i tot the mask should conceal it entirely but lets be honest.. he somewhat wants to let ppl know he is sad.. so is that still a mask? Half-a-mask maybe..

Or is the mask something of how ppl act instead of how they really are.. like they are actually rough ppl but act innocent and kind on first encounter to get frens.. just a random example...but yet again.. is that really a mask.. maybe to them it is.. because they feel that they fully captured the role they wanted to play.. but to me it isnt.. for like i said.. i can catch these hints of fakeness.. so still..half-a-mask again? to me? i guess :X

So what exactly is a full mask to me? Hmm..i dun think i can say that any1 else has a full mask to me..as in.. i have no right to deem that for being the guy being shown the mask.. i can see it and often than not it is halved cus i can see thru it.. but rather.. its something 1 can say only to themselves.. i guess at least..they themselves feel that they have successfully played the role and all.. but of course to others.. they can see that its halved..

I honestly have no idea where i'm going with this.. i wanted to post this yesterday when i was lying in bed thinking abt something.. was meant to be kinda emotional i guess.. but now.. i'm like meh so i cant really express wad i mean properly i guess.

Argh i guess its not the best time to write this.. its just weird writing it out when my mood is not at its place.. i shall leave it for another time ..haizzz

All that internal conflict for nothing..

O WELL! NIGHTS

Initially i wanted to post abt something.. but i'll save that for another day.. instead i wanna talk abt makeup! :D

Happy ? no.. annoyed.. yes.. men and make up.

Dun worry this isnt a rant AGAINST but a rant FOR .. wads wrongs with females wearing makeup.. honestly.. theres nth wrong with it.. so yeah it enhances how they actually look .. and maybe u feel like its cheating ur feelings but wth .. this is why i hate males when i was young and only sticked to female frens.. because their so self-centered .. OMG CHEAT MY FEELING.. OMG SHE ACTUALLY SO UGLY.. OMG THIS OMG THAT.. piss off man.. imagine i walk up to u, grab ur nuts and say omg so small.. omg ur dick is the size of my pinkie .. would u like that?

Ok fine.. i get that u have every right to say these stuff behind their backs.. just like how we can all go .. omg she so pretty.. omg he so handsome.. its same. commenting..

but honestly there's nth wrong..why isit that u darn males cant just think for a second the reasons for them putting on make-up.. honestly man.. even if its for some "lame" reason like FUN with a smile :D .. its still a reason to them and u should respect it..boosting confidence.. feeling prettier and better.. wads wrong with that.. its the same as us male styling our hair to look "cooler"..

Plus the girls put so much effort to feel nice and look nice..maybe not for YOU but for PEOPLE..for HERSELF.. god..wads wrong with that..

U dun like "fake" girls.. fine go be alongside those assholes out that in the world that judges a girl's beauty based on how she looks ..and dump her once she gets "ugly".. pieces of shit =.=

BLEH.. dun like..not saying that there's anything wrong but i just dun like even if its their own preference.. i can stand for "she looks fake" but.. once they continue until omg why do girls use make-up .. why all the girls cannot just dun wear make-up and be real.. followed by a.. OMG SHE LOOKS PRETTY AND SHE HAS NO MAKE-UP.. it annoys me..

OK LALA BYE :D

I think i'd blog later.. feel like sleeping now RWAR

Argh.. i'm totally bored hahas..

Wow.. i'm so bored that i cant think of anything to type here..or maybe its cause of my inability to multitask haha.. cus i now listening to song then like.. cant think of things :X

Ok .. hmm..wad to say wad to say.. well.. my post are very .. non-ranty lately so thats a positive..gonna keep this blog as positive as i can :D ZOMG just another random thing but the songs that so happen come on on my playlist are like.. UBER bad timing hahas.. like .. i focus on wad i'm doing for 1 sec than the song the next and i'll realise like.. haha bad timing lo XD

K la .. guess thats it.. i really really nth to type :( Needa get out of the house or i'll be... like..bored hahas

Went out with brandon and yujing today to expo for some game stuff which was kinda...cool? Who i am kidding.. its not cool.. its 1 word.. NERDGASM!

But it was cool i guess... saw some of those "famous" players which was kinda...uhh..ok i'll be honest i was going.. OMG NERD the whole way.. then there was this 1 dude who yujing said was like me.. as in in terms of standard.. and when i saw him...omg.. i dunno whether he is being nice or degrading me.. LOL nah i'm just kidding.. yeah he is like.. not a nerd looking person? like normal lo :X ( *grumble* but i'm still better :( ) .. OK ANYWAY.. ahem awkward :P

Yeah thats abt it yo.. nth much i gotta update :D

Oh and i love this

Hmm.. i shall start posting random stuff often.. even if i dun have anything to type out :X .. if not my blog will die hahas

Uhh.. i guess i have one for today..and that is i sing every single day? Is that weird? Like..usually ppl hear song then sing.. mine is i find song to sing :X and just when i am typing in this post..i was found out :(..hahas.. yes i sing EVERYDAY!! LALALA love it..its like a game to me.. i wanna achieve a full mark by hitting every note :X



as of now.. my hardest game is this.. the high pitches are...OMG!! dun worry imma not gonna do them..other ways to score is to find other ways to fill those "mad" parts :D

ok imma lame :( bye

Hmm...i'm bored..wad to type..No rants.. then nth type haha typical me..

Hmm..i really hope no1 gets the idea that i'm being proud of myself and that i think every1 is a moron and all that stuff.. but thinking back..my posts always make me seem like i think that way..cant really explain wad i mean in detail but yeah :X its just that MOMENT kind of thing.. not in general that those ppl are entirely morons.. lol that sounds weird.. not wad i was aiming for but watever.. trying to post some random stuff..

My phone is dying on me.. no messages haha FA .. ( forever alone ) ..

Hmm.. yup ran out of stuff..lets just post random stuff that u guys might wanna know...uhh.. school holidays now... my family wanna go thailand but i dun.. and appearently when i found out school starts in oct i am happy cause that means i dunnid go :X

Uhh wad else...i finally bought my pull-up bar.. its in my parents room which is kinda weird cause...i dun often go there and its kinda obvious wad imma do when i suddenly go into their room which is a bad thing cus i dun wan them know i use it..i know.. imma mad but like.. i have this weird liking towards surprising ppl.. do i make sense?

Hmm..uhh...sentosa that beach thingy is sucha nice place for a photoshoot..though i kinda hate beaches cus so many show-off-ie dudes with the gym and the weights and the BLAH.. nasty toots make me jealous lol.. bet cha all didnt know this abt me.. i get jealous easily when it comes to this aspect of things :X ..their not show-offs but.. i just call them that as long as they have that .. tooty figure and no shirt on.. ...TOOTS! RWAR rage anger ..:(

Uhh..wad else....oh ya...i have like quite a few face mask at home.. and am wondering if my friends like using them.. just random.. but i dunno lehz.. i dun really see friends using them.. lol its weird.. i know its something that shouldent be like.. worn in front of friends but.. i just .. yeah i wanna know if my frens use them regularly.. cus i use them at least once a week.. be it peel off de.. moisture or toning :X and like the idea of slumber party is awesome to me... but sadly i'm male and families dun really allow males to stay over at a female's house..aww.. always loved the idea of going over and like.. doing make-up,nails and mask and stuff.. of course not on me la.. i like WATCHING girls do make-up and nails and of course helping them do..but on me.. nah.. my face too awesome le HAHAHA

uh.. i guess i'm done.. its like 3:30 now.. and i dun really know wad to do.. shud just go sleep :X

Random..

I dun like to rant.. but something always tells me that i have to tell people what i feel .. like.. i want them to know wad not to do around me cause of my views and stuff..and maybe thru this way they will know more abt me as a person.. my ideals and personailty.. at the same time i dun wan them to know .. hahas.. i'd rather they see me as "caring" if i appear to them that way.. cause i'm aiming to.. anywayyyyyy yeah :X hahas..

random 2..

I feel like singing a song..if i could sing well .. i would totally sing songs to my friends on their birthdays or as a message or watever.. but i cant and i wont..haha if i did.. everyday would be so musical for me.. cus i have so much i wanna say but.. if u know me.. i think ahead..and if i did do that..a series of hurdles and blah will appear and i dun wanna handle those cus..it invites more brain juice consumtion.. haha some of the songs from my ... many..songs i wanna sing to ppl :X

Ok.. i know i should be posting about today.. but appearently things started to go =.= and i've gotta rant... but before i rant.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY BAOSHI! Hope u enjoyed ur day today and the prezzies and all that :D

Ok.. now..what i do in my life..actions, ideas watever.. are all my choices.. I dun really give a flying fck abt what you think and say about it.. but when u start dissing my friends because of possible actions that they carried out and i've accepted, meaning.. they did smth that i dun really mind.. I get pissed .. whose friends are these people? Mine or urs.. fcking hell i wished you'll repeat after me and say LOUIS' .. ITS LOUIS' FRIENDS.. NOT MINE.. NOT MINE..

It amazes me at how stupid some people can be.. How they can hate certain people despite them being good and how they can love people who are totally incompetent..Here's one.. I really didnt wanna bring this out but this is getting on my nerves.. my APEL teacher.. or form teacher if u wish.. He is a great teacher.. he really cares for our well being ... sure he is late often and rarely have time to actually carry out the lesson.. but hands down he is a great teacher.. he analyze our attributes and give us constructive advice.. i really dun understand how you guys can go .. HE SUCKS.. to me.. cus face it.. the only reason he sucks to u is cause u're too stupid to understand his message and ur seeing this in a gamer's eyes.. and what i mean by this is that.. you are bored and not entertained and it is wasting ur time.. rather than taking this piece of advice and seeing it in the eyes of a mature adult.. no wait.. scrap that.. even adults are often immature in my eyes.. why else do i rant about some teachers? Teachers who forget that they are teachers.. people who are suppose to motivate and entice their students to listen during class..sometimes i dun really wanna say it but i feel so much more mature around these people.. i'm honestly not.. but being around these kinds of people and seeing them failing to see such "obvious" aspects makes me feel so much smarter and mature.

Bleh.. i kinda sidetracked.. anyway the reason i typed this .. dun worry its not about the bday thing...is because of a freakin game.. NOW before u go all "omg its only a game bla bla " on me...listen up.. its not about THE game.. but rather what happen IN the game..sure we lost.. but honestly i dun give a fuck about it.. i've lost plenty of games and won many of it too.. but rarely will i get so pissed off over what happened.. I dun care if you have a game face when u play and go all hostile on ur friends.. or are the best player in the game or watever of those crap...we are a team..and fuck off if u think a team equals to friends cause its bullshit to me.. YES u CAN have a team of friends but when you are a stranger in my team of friends.. u are just part of the team.. not a friend..

But of course.. this is different.. cause everyone is my friend only.. from different groups... ok..i dunno whether its cause your not a damai-ian or smth but why isit that other people have such U()#$*)$ attitude? .. I'm really curious .. till date i've always felt that all of my grad batch of damai-ians are like intellectual and mature people.. so much Eff shiets going on shall list some.. dudes that ignore other's feelings or rather are unaware..mad dudes that get pissed off at everything.. u know wad.. i dun even wanna list them.. rather.. i'll say.. we all have those aspects.. but why isit that they dun try to like.. handle it.. they like throw out these negative fcks at their "friends" aka me .. and do nothing to like.. make me feel ok abt it or feel better..BLEH i dun even know wad i wanna say now.. its so messed up in my brain..

Ok.. point is..i find them retarded in so many aspects..they may find me retarded as well but to that i say.. fuck off because i'm the one that handles all those emotional issues.. handle conflicts all sensibly and sensitively.. YES SENSITIVELY.. its a fucking aspect that i feel and exert out easily unlike u fucking morons..rage and do nothing.. yes that all u can ever do..everyday i'll get a crack out of the jokes i hear.. rage here rage there.. and do nothing.. good job..this is wad makes me different.. i dun give a flying fuck if the words gay and homos comes shooting me in the face but we're different cause i bother to do something..as much as i rant.. i do what i have to to achieve wad i want..

And now.. raging.. people raging doesnt really anger me at all.. i dun care.. cause honestly..when u rage.. eventhough the contents are ALL heard by me unlike some fuckers who totally dun bother to check if this issue is something they can help with like.. i dunno.. MINE .. ahem.. anyway.. i listen to ALL your shits and see if its something that i can or should handle OMG THE MORE I TYPE THE MORE I CAN RANT ... so much.. annoyance..

Ok louis focus.. anyway..u can rage about this and that but when u rage about people who matter to me.. i'm not happy..so yeah.. that pretty much sums it all up... i dun care if your status or friendship with me is higher/longer.. if what you're saying is like wrong place wrong time wrong ANYTHING.. its not cool at all..this is what WE sensitive people are awesome at.. we can determine these shits and do the right thing unlike u morons that just take it and let ur friends get that invisible slap.. yes u can say that they dun know if i dun tell.. to that.. i say fuck u cause thats what YOU will do.. i'm not you.. i'm not so lowly as to avoid defending my friends .. even if you are mine as well..it clearly shows that u dun respect or see me as one because u dun fucking give my other friends face at all.

this is that one post that i've decided to post and conclude that if any of these people reads this..i'm ok with the consequences..and fyi.. all those fuckers who reads this and are like part of the "moron" grouping will be saying.. ohhh louis.. u talk so much abt facing problems larh.. wad ..do shit to achieve.. bla bla so u moron also la.. since u dun open ur mouth and say us u also moron hahaha.

to that.. i'll say.. this determines the difference in intellect..the reason why fights break out is because of this ideal of being too open about certain things.. there are certain things that can be slapped in the face and certain things that should be partially hidden... u may think of this as an excuse but i assure u its not.. sure i suck it arguments cus often my ideas and opinion of things is against a majority and i get like mass argued against .. even if its against one .. i also lose out.. why? i stutter.. its not cause i'm not confident in my speaking and my choice of actions but rather.. i'm just like that.. and often this aspect is used against me and.. i'm doomed.. i have to construct sentences in my brain before answering cause of this.. anyway back to the point..many times.. opinions like this post are in fact and honestly right..i'm not someone who looks at things from my eyes but rather the correct path's eyes if that makes sense.. being sucha harsh person to myself made me realise that more often than not .. serious shits are things that i am very fair about ( of course small stuff like which color is better i will be unfair la.. cus .. I do like certain colors and not others )... and like.. if somehow u are awesome in arguing .. ur gonna make urself think that this opinions are wrong.. and its a waste of time duncha think? Cause face it.. how do lawyers win? they persuade.. even when something is clearly wrong in society or watever.. they can persuade.. salesmen...awesome people.. but they do it cause they gain something.. right? like lawyers.. win get money la.. salesmen also.. main point , to win..but yeah.. even though i do gain like emotional victory or smth.. its like.. meh :X hard to convince but yeah so your gonna convince cause u wanna avoid losing omg.. wall of text makes it hard to type..i'm lost...aiya i only know that no point i say something that can be argued against and like put myself at a disadvantage when i'd rather share it with people secretly and like.. keep it as a like.. lesson and observation thing..yeah sneaky i know.. and ..yeah..

LOL.. i realise that i'd really have to type this.. ok.. If i have use for you.. i won't do anything to make me lose watever "fake" friendship we have..this is like the main reason to it all..the whole fights break out thing.. ok..say i have a business partner who happens to be this person.. yeah.. u know the rest.. bad work output and all that.. why? cause we cant work together..this is just an example but yeah.. its harsh for me to say so but ultimately it all boils down to.. if i have use for u.. then.. i wont soil our "friendship" easy as that...

So yeah.. thats about it..i think i've covered everything.. raging dudes...dun diss my friends even if u are one of my friends.. why i type here instead of in ur face... yup should be done.. wow.. long post eh...I love how even when i type this.. i'm trying to give un-hurting ans rather than just straight up shoot out wad i wan say.. louis ar louis.. why u so.. zzz =.=...can shorten ur post u know :( ..

oh and side note..example i miss a game shot.. when i say i missed cause my dog ran pass my feet.. i mean it ... i dun fucking make excuses like i giving chance and all that.. unless i'm making an obvious joke with a clownish face..so although it hard to say.. just believe me =.=.. sometimes it gets annoying when THAT face and THAT YAH RIGHT is thrown at me.. i'd rather u take it and not believe it or ask me to clarify or watever..its kinda hard to say cause many people do this and lie abt it.. and i kinda cant say that i dun lie sometimes but.. ZOMG i dunno how say.. nvm forget it.. its just something that cannot be believed i guess.. hahas.. just some random happy ish thing to end this post :D